I Miss You Most
by Dorthey Star
Summary: [one shot] Draco's been gone without a trace for four years now. Christmas is the worst time for Hermione. See how an unexpected present helps her cope. RR


"I Miss You Most" 

By Dorthey Star

The fire is burning The room's all aglow 

_Outside the December wind blows_

_Away in the distance the carolers sing in the snow_

_Everybody's laughing_

_The world is celebrating_

_And everyone's so happy_

_Except for me tonight_

                Hermione sat by the window in the living room at the Burrow and watched everyone laughing and having a great time. Ever since she, Ron, and Harry had graduated four years before, they had been invited to the Burrow for Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, then to stay the night and to celebrate Christmas with the Weasley's. She sat and watched as Ginny played chess against Ron; as Harry, Fred, George, and Charlie argued over Quidditch; as Bill and Percy argued over the recent Goblin rebellion; and as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat close together and talked quietly to each other. Hermione smiled softly and sadly. _This is how it's supposed to be,_ she thought. _Growing old, having a million kids, that's the way it's supposed to be. Not falling in love then losing them. _She held back a sigh and turned to look out the window at the blizzard. 

                Her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hermione had fallen in love with her worst enemy: Draco Malfoy. They had both denied it, but then on Christmas Eve they finally admitted it to each other. 

* * * * 

            _Hermione was sitting on the steps in front of the school, watching the snow fall around her. She heard the door open, but did not turn to see who it was. Before she knew it, the person was sitting next to her. _

_                "Granger." Draco said quietly. _

_                "Draco." They sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke. _

_                "I've been thinking," he said, before pausing. _

_                "You? Think? The world must be ending," Hermione said sarcastically. Draco glared at her. _

_                "Fine. If you don't want to hear, I'll just leave," he said and started to get up. Hermione put her hand on his arm._

_                "Don't go," she said softly. "I want to hear. I was just teasing you." Draco settled back down and stayed silent for another minute before continuing. _

_                "I've been thinking a lot lately about us," he said. He paused to see if she was going to make a sarcastic remark, but when there was none, he continued. "I think I want to try and make this all work" She sat in silence, barely believing what she heard._

_                "I want to, also," she said softly and turned to look at him. He looked down at her with an uncharacteristically gentle expression. She smiled at him and both turned away, to look at the frozen lake. They sat close, but never touching; the silence was not uncomfortable, and they both preferred the silence to conversation in that moment._

* * * *

_Because I miss you _

_Most at Christmas time_

_And I can't get you_

_Get you off my mind_

_Every other season comes along_

_And I'm all right_

_But then I miss you, most at Christmas time_

                Fred and George stood up with mischievous looks on their faces while everyone else looked at them with suspicion.

                "We, as in all the males in this room, challenge all the females in a snow ball fight," Fred said, still looking mischievous. 

                "You're on!" Ginny said as she jumped up from the chair she'd been sitting in. All the Weasley's hurried out the room to engage in one of their favorite Christmas pastimes. Harry turned to look at Hermione. He was sitting in the large, overstuffed armchair that he'd been in while talking Quidditch. 

                "You all right?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. She tried smiling at him.

                "I'm fine," she said, although she knew it wasn't true. She could deal with not having Draco at any other time, but Christmas was especially hard. Harry looked as though he wanted to point out her lie, but thought better of it. 

                "Come out join the snowball you two!" Ginny called from outside. Harry looked at her. 

                "Do you want to join in?" Harry asked as he stood. Hermione shook her head. 

                "I'm really tired, so I think I'm going to head on to bed," she said. 

                "All right," he said, and went outside. Hermione sat by the window a minute longer, then went up stairs to Ginny's old room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She missed Draco so much at the holidays. She could remember the last day she'd seen him like it was yesterday. 

* * * *

                _The night was cool and bright, and the air was warm. Hermione and Draco stood by the window. _

_                "I'm leaving tomorrow; Father's taking me out of school and I don't know if I'll be back," he said quietly. She turned to look at him. _

_                "Why is he taking you? How can Dumbledore allow it?" she asked him worriedly. She was usually able to read to read his facial expressions, but it was completely blank now. _

_                "It's my father. Why do you think he's taking me? He told Dumbledore that I'm _grief stricken_ over the death of my mother,_" _Draco sneered. Hermione didn't say anything; she reached over and took his hand. "Don't, Hermione."_

_                "Don't what?" she asked, slightly confused. _

_                "Don't pity me, I don't think I could take it. I've brought this on myself, and I will deal with it by myself," he said sharply._

_                "Draco-" she sighed. _

_                "Please. I don't want to argue with you on my last night with you," he sighed. _

_                "I'm going to miss you, Draco," she said. He pulled her into a hug. What he said next was so quiet that she almost didn't hear it. Perhaps she wasn't supposed to hear it. _

                "I love you Hermione." It was the last time she'd seen him He was gone the next day and she never heard what had become of him. . 

* * * *

I gaze out the window This cold winter's night 

_At all of the twinkling lights_

_Alone in the darkness_

_Remembering when you were mine_

_Everybody's smiling_

_The whole world is rejoicing_

_And everyone's embracing_

_Except for you and I_

                Hermione curled up under the layers of quilts and closed her eyes. Sleep would be long in coming to her, she knew; it always was at the holidays. She layed for what seemed like hours, trying not to think of Draco, but not succeeding. The door creaked open and Ginny crept in. Hermione sat up. 

                "I don't know why you're tiptoeing. You knew I wouldn't be asleep," she said irritably. Ginny jumped.

                "Actually, I'd rather thought you would be. Harry said you looked exhausted," Ginny said as she sat on the edge of Hermione's bed. 

                "I am, but I can't sleep. Please, I don't want to talk about it," she said, closing her eyes. Ginny gave her a hug. 

                "I don't expect to. Now, let's go to sleep. I expect the boys will wake us up early for the presents," Ginny said yawning. There was silence as the younger girl changed into her nightgown. 

                "Who won?" Hermione asked suddenly. 

                "Who won what?" Ginny asked as she slid under the covers. 

                "The snowball fight," Hermione yawned. Ginny laughed.

                "We did."

* * * * 
    
    _Baby I miss you_
    
    _Most at Christmas time_
    
    _And I can't get you_
    
    _Get you off my mind_
    
    _Every other season comes along_
    
    _And I'm all right_

But then I miss you, most at Christmas time 

                Hermione sat with Ron, Ginny, and Harry at a table on the patio at the Burrow, watching the elder Weasley brothers, minus Percy, have a war with tables. Hermione was reminded of easier times the summer before her fourth year when Bill and Charlie had, had a similar fight. Ron and Harry discussed how the Chudley Cannons looked like they were going to do the following year while Hermione and Ginny sat in a comfortable silence.

                "Hermione, dear, could you come inside for a moment? A gift has just arrived for you," Mrs. Weasley called out. 

                "Who's it from?" Ron asked as Hermione stood up. 

                "Dunno. I've gotten presents from everyone that I've expected to," she said. She walked into the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was stirring the soup she was making, but she looked up when Hermione entered the room. 

                "Your, uh, _present_ is in the living room, dear," Mrs. Weasley said. Hermione murmured a thank you and walked into the living room. There was a man in the living room. He had on a black cloak that was pulled over his head. His back was turned so that she couldn't see who he was.    

                "Can I help you?" Hermione asked. The man turned around. Hermione almost didn't recognize him; he looked so different from the last time she had seen him. Then he had been barely taller than her and well filled out. He kept his hair slicked back (except for the piece in front that would always fall into his eyes) and his skin was always smooth and pale. Since then, he had grown almost a foot in height and looked thinner, even with his cloak on. His usually slicked back hair was no longer slicked back, which Hermione thought was a great improvement. His usually smooth and pale skin was slightly tanned and there was a scar running across his right cheek.

                "Draco?" she whispered. He took two steps towards her and stopped, as if suddenly remembering something. 

                "I knew you'd be here," he said quietly. 

                "Oh Merlin. I've missed you," she breathed. She took hurried steps to him and threw herself on him. He wrapped his arms around her. They stood like that for the longest time, with him holding her and her crying. Finally he pulled back. 

                "I've missed you too," he said with his uncharacteristically soft look. She sniffed. 

                "I thought you were dead." He started to lean down and kissed her but stopped.

                "You aren't…seeing anyone…are you?" he asked, slightly suspicious. She sighed.

                "No," she said. He looked very relieved and she reached up and kissed him. The door opened and they turned around to see Ron, Harry, and Ginny standing in the door. Ginny was smiling happily at seeing the two flames reunited, but Ron and Harry looked less than happy. 

                "What's he doing here?" Ron asked grumpily. Ginny glared and hit him on the arm. 

                "Can't you see they're having a romantic moment?" she asked as she herded the two men out of the room. She smiled at Hermione as she shut the door. 

                "Let's get out of here," Hermione said. 

                "Good idea. I might catch Weasley-itus being surrounded by all this red hair," he smirked. She laughed and they left the burrow hand in hand.

* * * *
    
    _In the springtime those memories start to fade_
    
    _With the April rain_
    
    _Through the summer days_
    
    _Till autumn's leaves are gone_
    
    _I get by without you_

_Till the snow begins to fall  _

                An indeterminable amount of time later, Hermione andDraco were in Hermione's bed, enjoying each other's company.

                "Draco…what happened to you while you were away?" she asked quietly. He was silent for a few moments, as if contemplating how to answer her. 

                "Hell happened. I joined the Death Eaters as a spy for Dumbledore, and I've been doing that for four years. My father died about six months ago, as I'm sure you heard, so I've been free to make my own decisions. I decided I wanted you, and that I didn't care who knew, even if it was the Weasley's," he said in an unusually emotion filled statement. Hermione smiled happily. 

                "I want you, too, no matter who knows," she said sleepily. Draco pulled her closer to him and they drifted off to sleep, happily ever after. 
    
    _And then I miss you_
    
    _Most at Christmas time_
    
    _And I can't get you_
    
    _Get you off my mind_
    
    _Every other season comes along_
    
    _And I'm all right..._

But then I miss you, most at Christmas time THE END 

****

**Disclaimer: **nothing belongs to me. All places, people and objects belong to J.K. Rowling and several others, while the song, I Miss You Most (at Christmastime) is off the Mariah Carey Christmas Album, so it belongs to whoever it belongs to. 

**Author's Note:** I was in a very Draco/Hermione mood, and I was listening to this song, and it just popped into my head, fully formed. I did debate, however, whether or not Draco should come back or not, but I decided to be very nice and have him come back. Perhaps later I'll write an Alternate Ending where he isn't alive. Perhaps I won't. It just depends on my moods. I hope you enjoyed it. Please Review. 


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